“...one of the greatest blessings that comes along with turning 40 is knowledge of self.”

For many of us, aging can be a long and arduous process to reckon with.  Our society does not typically show favor to the eldest amongst us...this is especially true in the case of women.  While there are advantages and disadvantages to getting older, it’s always helpful (in any situation) to have an idea of what you can expect.  This is what I wish someone would have told me about turning 40:

Your energy levels change

Personally speaking, I’ve found this to be one of the more challenging aspects of getting older.  I go to great lengths these days to ensure that I prioritize #selfcare. This entails adhering to a (mostly) sensible diet, first and foremost.  For me, this means minimizing my simple carb and sugar intake. These days, if I over-indulge in unhealthy foods and snacks, it impacts waaaay more than my waistline...I will ultimately struggle to find the energy I need to manage my day.  I try hard to stay on track with my diet to avoid feeling lethargic.

In that same vein, making sure I get enough sleep is also critically important. As women, we are tasked with managing so much in a given day - parenthood, aging parents, etc. - that we often go without the proper rest we need to function. Studies have also shown a link between insufficient sleep and weight gain in women. Sleep deprivation can lead to fatigue and a whole host of chronic health issues, as well.  As difficult as it is, I generally try to stick with a consistent bedtime, mainly to assist with regulating my internal clock.

Another important factor in keeping my energy levels up is regular exercise.  I make the effort to work out (cardio and strength training) pretty consistently. This goes a long way in keeping my stress levels lower, and providing a much needed boost to my metabolism and energy reserves. Working out also helps me release anxiety and unhealthy energy.  

All of it goes hand in hand though, as working out regularly helps me maintain a healthier diet (of course, I don’t want to sabotage my efforts) and get better quality sleep.  I guess it’s those dopamines the experts are always talking about!

You will see changes in your physical appearance

Trust me, you will begin to notice slight differences as your face and body gradually change.  It may start as a wrinkle that you see today that you could swear was not there yesterday. Additionally, skin can start to take on a “crepe-y” texture, requiring more moisturization than you’ve ever needed before.  Keeping good body butter or oils handy is a great solution.  

In addition to wrinkles and crepe-y skin, I’ve also noticed subtle changes with hair and nails, appearing slightly more dry and brittle, respectively.  Granted, these issues are exacerbated for me as they are conditions of hypothyroidism, which I was diagnosed with a few years back.

In any case though, you have to give yourself more attention and nourishment than you might have in the past.  Diet (i.e., lots of fruits and veggies) and exercise are my best tools in keeping some of the signs of aging at bay.

Your shape shifts and gravity is real

While exercise is critical to your physical and mental well-being at any age, this is increasingly true as you approach 40.  It’s safe to say that as you age, you have to work twice as hard to look half as good as you did when you were younger! Declining estrogen is the culprit here, as it helps to determine muscle mass levels and body fat distribution.  I used to be able to casually monitor my diet…but these days, just looking at a pizza commercial will cause me to gain weight.  To make matters worse, the extra pounds no longer direct themselves to areas where they could do some good (breasts, butt). Now, the extra weight tends to congregate in my hips and lower abdomen area, and who needs that?

Gravity is also a factor, as you have to work harder to keep things sitting….up.  Strength training is your best bet here. Remember what I said about having to work twice as hard?  Squats, lunges and other lower body exercises are apart of my daily routine, as is the chest press.

You become more introspective

In many regards, you have more quiet time these days, hence more time to reflect.  There are advantages to this, as you can sharpen your focus on your life’s passion and goals. Now that you’re on the cusp of 40, you’ve had your fair share of both good and bad relationships, and life experiences.  This has likely made you more self aware, in that you know who you are and what you want. Furthermore, you can apply a sense of realism to your aspirations, as you are cognizant of (and own) your strengths and weaknesses.  

In my experience, I feel it has served to make me more self confident - freeing me to pursue exactly what it is I want in life.  Furthermore, I do a better job of blocking the “outside noise” as it relates to others’ opinions. Sometimes our loved ones mean well, but let’s face it - their beliefs and projections can get into our heads, even if they don’t align with our own views and ideals.  

The process of self-reflection can be healthy, as long as it helps to point you in the right direction for your future path….the keyword here is “future.”  Danger sometimes comes with looking back, particularly if you have a tendency to obsess over negative things from your past that you can’t change. At times, I’ve definitely been guilty of this.  I work hard to shake it off though, as I know it’s futile. We all experience self-doubt from time to time, but I try to focus on the positive aspects of my life (we all have them!). Choosing to express gratitude and seek happiness is imperative, and helps to lift my mood during dark times.

You become a better version of yourself

By “better,” I mean “true.” Getting older undoubtedly presents challenges.  Still, I think one of the greatest blessings that comes along with turning 40 is knowledge of self.  I feel as though I’ve found my voice, which is comforting and empowering. That said, I’m still trying to ascertain my purpose….it’s definitely a journey!  At least now though, I’m comfortable enough in my skin to choose when and how I show up in life.  As previously mentioned, knowing who you are is a great asset, and determining when to say no (and yes!) is equally important.  Simply put, you’ve learned what to accept and what not to accept.

In the end, it’s not all bad, but 40 is definitely not the new 30.  That’s a good thing though! As you turn 40, you realize you have a better sense of who you are - which is independent of others’ viewpoints.  This alone brings about a tremendous level of peace of mind. Having birthdays is a wonderful thing - as we get older, wiser and ultimately better.  You have probably (finally!) found your rhythm in your career and in other aspects of your life. Continue to take care of yourself and we’ll help each other get through it!

Sources:

Impact of Insufficient Sleep on Total Daily Energy Expenditure, Food Intake, and Weight Gain.

Estrogen Deficiency and the Origin of Obesity during Menopause.